"...english isn't a good language
to express emotion through
mostly i imagine because people
try to speak english instead
of trying to speak through it...."

-Nikki Giovanni

We both sat under wing of safety
looked in
and found each other
but              you
ventured out first,
came in to me,
  and now, together, we look
           out,
             
and these days, I can't get my mind
anywhere but                       you
and I don't much care
because
   even when everything else
                                 is shitty,
and I can't pluck
all these flapping words
              for anything
              and the calls come as fast
              as the cliches
              and the tears
surprise me as much as the sight of you
standing, unruffled in the kitchen
   and I'm helpless,
                          so huffy,
                               and my voice
does just what I don't want it to,
                        I know
                        it will
all be better
when you come home.

And I am rushing through the day-
            maybe, for that moment-
doing this
     instead of that-
satisfying what?

Waiting        watched         wavering
between too much
   and too little.

I want to sing,
face you, inch closer.
                                             

I want to see me through your eyes
               see                     you
through
your eyes.
I want to rhyme,
         to invert,
and go out
into the world
              with you like a kitschy
                             love song
chirping in my head,
                     your persuasion perched
                        on my shoulder.
I want you to sweet talk
me out
      of my suspicion and translate
                                all I'm sick
of speaking of.
I want your hands as warm as coffee
in the morning, to stay in bed all day
                                and keep me safe,
                                and to just be me
with you and
        you
be
you.

I'll go in even when I'm afraid,
I'll go in breathing in and out, slow
  like you're standing in our kitchen
                       and I'll nest
where you do
and turn in and out, softened
and turn in and out
what is in and out of me
so I am ready.