Monday, November 7, 2011

Fire (excerpt)

We are learning to make fire, she thought.  What was that from?  That was exactly what it felt like.  As they kissed and she learned of earthly passions, yes, it was like learning to make fire. That first discovery of creating sustaining heat.  The excitement  of the first flickering spark and then  it spreads and grows more glorious, casting dangerous but delicious heat and they gathered this from each other’s embrace, feeding each other of these brilliant moments, this shared coursing of desire in their limbs, their tongues, everywhere.   

 “Did you hear me?” Keith asked. 

  She looked up at him, his fork down, waiting for her response.  He’d said something stupid, she thought, trying to recall his question.  It had been something cliché.   It was better when he didn’t speak.




Write On Wednesdays



Submitting at Kristen Lamb's blog, too.  (author of Are You There Blog,It's Me Writer and We Are Not Alone, The Writer's Guide To Social Media.)

13 comments:

  1. Ha ha, don't you just HATE it when they destroy the illusion - this is great :)

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  2. I like the turn of humor at the end. Great story.

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  3. Gorgeous!! Nothing like fantasy interruptus!

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  4. Ha! I love it! Sometimes the quiet is much better. Great job with this prompt. I love the concrete images you have created.

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  5. Love the last line...so true, so true.

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  6. hahah-this is why fantasy beats real life 99% of the time :D Love it!

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  7. hahahahahaha oh how I loved that last line! for me, its nearly always better when they don't speak :) great job x

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  8. *snort* 'It was better when he didn't speak.' Love that line! The passion of the imagination juxtaposed with the crashing mundanity of real life. Great!

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  9. As someone once said: "Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts."

    Or, in this case, lovers. So true! I did not expect the piece to turn in such a sharp angle, Nicole. I was delighting in your wonderful description of what it is like to kiss someone you love with all your heart, and then you ripped that away from me and introduced a clever plot twist. Excellent!

    / Rain

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  10. Lovely, a pure pleasure to read. With a quite funny ending!

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  11. Clever, funny use of the prompt. You gave us a little story here, in just 5 mins! The twist was well played, unexpected but it brought a smile to my face. Well done!

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  12. Great, love her Keith disdain, beautiful daydream.

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