Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Beginning and End

                I remember so well that beginning.  Our beginning; the day I was formed from my husband’s rib.  In the glory of the Lord, I watched Adam sleeping.  And when I came to be, he was the first thing I saw.  And for all the beauty of the garden that God had given us, it was Adam who mesmerized me.  He slept so peacefully, unaware that when he woke, the Lord would present me to him, as a gift and a helpmate.  I studied him; the beauty of his face, his body.  I stared at his strong arms, and his mouth, slightly parted in sleep.  And I remember, I couldn’t wait for him to open his eyes, to see what color they were, what they would reveal of his inner being.  Would he be glad to meet me?  I must have stared for quite a while before he woke and we were formally introduced.  As his eyes slowly opened and I was presented, joy overtook his entire face and I knew that he already loved me as I already loved him. 
                It was a perfect beginning.  One created by the ultimate creator.  And our beginning certainly was bliss.  We were surrounded by supreme beauty and we reveled in each other’s beauty.  The Lord took great care of us and His love completed our love.  Without Him, none of this could have been.  I cherish those days of our innocence, the days when we were nothing but trusting and obedient.  Oh, how I wish that hadn’t ended. 

How it did end, how we came to leave our paradise, is a story well told, one that you have heard and one that I do not wish to retell.  But not only did our life of blessing in the Garden of Eden end, so also, did many aspects of our stainless relationship with one another.  When we chose not to listen and to disobey God, we sacrificed our bond. 

When we had to leave the elegance of the garden and the bliss of life as we knew it, we were aware that we faced ahead of us much different times; times of hard work and toil, times of labor and sweat.  But we did not know that everything as we knew it had ended.  Nothing was carefree any longer.  The simplicity of only enjoying each other’s presence became something of the past.   I began to see Adam differently and I know how differently he must have viewed me.  I longed for those days when he would gaze deep into my eyes with wonder at my womanhood, when I could see in his eyes that he admired and adored me.  But how could he ever look at me the same again? 

Now when I watch him sleep, I see that rest never fully envelops him.  His face is etched with lines of worry and his mouth stays clenched even in the dead of night, in the safety of where we lie.  During the day, I sometimes still watch him, if I have a moment.  I see his strong, tan arms, which used to embrace me for hours now work the hard ground.  I see that his body is wearing out, that he is growing old before my eyes.  Unaware, he wipes the sweat from his brow, returning to his work, and I wonder if he resents me.  If he could ever love me like he did in the beginning.  Or if too much has changed.  We have both changed so much.  I never meant for it to end this way.  Could we ever begin anew? 

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