He sat in the silent waiting room at the hospital, his dear wife in a labor and delivery room nearby. He heard her pain filled wails, but was not allowed in the room to comfort her, to hold her hand through the agony. His beautiful, Julie. His, dear, sweet, good wife.
They’d been married almost two years and now were having their first child. He’d been so blessed to have won her heart. Their life thus far together bliss and now she was making him a father. It was almost more than his heart could contain, feeling it might burst, both from joy and fear.
He looked at the other anxious, expectant fathers, some pacing, some dozing. Did they feel the full extent of what he did? Perhaps not. He put his head in his hands, silently praying, “God, are you sure? Are you sure I’m ready?”
He was a man who by all accounts should be dead. His past had been a life of booze and women and crime. But God had chased him. Ever since he was a small boy in Sunday School, the Lord had pursued, but stubborn, he’d done it his own way. The man’s own father had died when he was but ten and so he’d hardened his heart and forged his own path, disastrous.
And then God gave him Julie and through her goodness, he’d found the Lord. And now the Lord was gifting him again and he knew what it meant to say, ‘My cup runneth over.’ But he was scared. This big,strong man who’d been through so much, scared.
The nurse said his name then, and his eyes wide met hers.
“You have a daughter,” she told him and motioned that he follow.
His wife lay in bed, spent but more lovely than she’d ever been, and he slowly approached to peer at the bundle she held. Without hesitation, Julie held the baby in his direction, and carefully, so carefully, he cradled the child. His heart swelled. Such a tiny, heavy weight he held. The most innocent of beings, eyes squeezed shut, entrusted, given freely to him. He didn’t deserve this. This precious wonder. He knew in his soul that he didn’t, but he thanked God for her. And his life changed once more, in one more instant, as he fell in love again and begged the Lord to make him worthy, thanking Him, for making all things new.
'Are you sure I’m ready?' I suppose every new parent asks that, and every experienced parent knows that the answer is "No"! :)
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